From the recording A Deal With God
"I've suffered so long, but now I'm free yea,
You can't change someone who's already acting ahead of time like they didn't want to be apart of what's going on, like they didn't even want to be there.
I've made so many mistakes and have so many regrets, cause there are a handful of people who I wish I never met.
I can't change the past, but I can still right all of my wrongs, by changing who i am, letting go and moving on.
That's why i"m not the same person I use to be and those same problems I won't face, cause I never would have tried talking to people in the first place.
I wasn't born on this earth knowing everything, I had to learn from experience just like everyone else.
I had to learn what to do and what not to do, and as quiet as i actually am, there's still one point in my life where I told myself that i'm talking too much.
There's a reason why I have this attitude, a reason why I have this anger.
Too many people are quick to talk trash when they see something that they don't like or don't understand. And too many people are quick to jump to conclusions without even bothering to get to know the person better. Alot of people act this way, both men and women.
And it will cause them to treat you like they know you when they really don't. They had no idea how you are and how you felt about them at first. It was real hard forgiving people who did me like that, especially people from the opposite sex. Sometimes I wanted to cry because I know what my main problem is even though it's hard to stop, especially when you don't think people are going to care. Its not good to hold your emotions in, especially for a long time. That's why even though you're the most patient, you can still get the most angriest. The last battle I ever had was with the one who I saw in the mirror, and it's been so long but this war is still going on. Whose my friend and whose my enemy? And it's hard to love when women are treated the same way as men. Cause they all will pretend to like you. I use to love revenge until i started calling people childish. I shouldn't have been treated as an outcast for so long, now I like it this way. Because anytime im happy, it's still because im alone, i'd rather live in an endless dream never to wake up. So im going to have peace one way or another, but before I go, this is my last message. Don't be ashamed of anything, your spouse, your friends, your family, your religion, your music, your looks. And if you really want people's respect, then tell them the truth even if it sounds bad. They have to know everything, even the parts that may sound sad. I'd rather not have fame pretending to be something that I'm not just to be like everyone else. It's amazing how people are quick to treat you bad, just because they simply don't know you. But at the same time, they're still acting like they know you better than you actually know yourself. So no matter how hard you listen you still won't hear me, no matter how hard you search, you still won't find me. Now all that's left are the screams of the banshee, cause i've suffered so long, but now I'm free."